Everywhere I go, I seem to be bumping into a same person
The timing and coincidence is uncanny
Extremely uncanny
It's beginning to make me think it's fate?
Then again, in my world
Fate doesn't go all the way
It just makes me vulnerable and weak
So I'll just be as I am
Even though I feel lonely and jealous of others sometimes
I get by
Yes I do
Even though I think of what could be sometimes
I get by
The feeling passes
So I'll just be as I am
♥ 10:54 PM
Another tweet that hits the soft spot
"The best actors are the ones that act like they are fine going around
smiling and laughing even though they are dying on the inside."
Yes, I do die inside. Every day.
♥ 2:15 AM
So I tweeting ever more often now since there's no qualms about over-flooding a few hundred people's newsfeeds every single minute.
I saw this random tweet that just gave me this pang of sorrow all of a sudden.
"The scariest thing about distance is you don't know whether they'll miss you or forget about you"
I think of several people who have entered and exited my life for various reasons. Most of them had opted out because we had our differences. Differences that could not be compromised or forgiven. Sometimes I remember the good things we had going on and wonder how would it be if it hadn't turn out this way. There's always that 'what if' and 'could have', you know?
People might say "You could've stopped them from leaving" but I hadn't the guts and I have this stubborn ego of mine. I always have this reasoning: "If they want to leave, they would. Whatever I do, it won't change their mind. And if it did, they weren't set on leaving in the first place."
Then again, I am wrong.
"If they were planning on leaving, and I didn't stop them, they'd think that I am allowing them to leave. That I didn't value our relationship enough to stop them from leaving."
I think it's a chicken-first-or-egg-first issue here.
Ah well, life goes on.
♥ 2:12 AM
Woke up in the morning feeling all crappy. Walked to the sink with my pink toothbrush all dolled up with toothpaste. Next thing I know, I'm spitting bloody phlegm.
Two words defined the beginning of March 2013.
VIRAL FEVER.
Yeah it sucks. My body temperature fluctuated like the Sahara desert. Hot as hell, cold as the bitterest winter.
Forked out more than half of my week's allowance for a jab on the butt and some pills and cough syrup that turned me into a totally dependent user.
TOTALLY DEPENDENT.
I mean, like, 10 more minutes to the next dosage, I'm already feeling the pain oozing back into my back, the headache getting stronger and stronger by the second, the throat starts itching again and my vision starts to blur.
Wonder what I'd do if it weren't for the medicine...especially the painkillers.
Anywho, I was supposed to start studying for my second Progress Test the past weekend but my plans were foiled. All I did was guzzle water, take the medications, and SLEEEEEEP.
Although I have to admit, the sleep was very much welcomed.
Hopefully I will recover by this Tuesday so that I can sit through the P2 lecture with the brightest and spongey-est brain.
ABSORB ABSORB ABSORB.
♥ 9:56 PM